At graduation, Daniel walked at the front of his class, carrying the flag. He had earned straight As at the University of Pennsylvania - one of the very few students who had.

Everyone expected him to apply to medical school immediately. He didn’t. He chose to work in the community.

While his classmates flew off to top med schools and fellowships, Daniel took a small apartment near Chinatown and spent his days tutoring new immigrants, helping elderly residents navigate Medicare forms, and translating at clinics.

He never said he was lost. But as his father, I knew he was searching. I didn’t stop him. But I gave him a condition: “Take two years. By the end of that time, I hope you’ll know.”

Because I understood something he didn’t yet: The world is not always kind to people who wander too long without direction.

And yet, what he learned during those two years changed him. He saw how systems fail the people who need them most. He listened to pain. He filled out forms. He sat in waiting room. And eventually, he called me. “I want to go to medical school,” he said. “But this time, it’s not because I’m supposed to — it’s because I want to.”

I didn’t expect what happened next. Thirteen of the top medical schools in the country invited him to interview. It shocked him. It humbled him. And honestly… it worried him.

“My interviews aren’t going well,” he told me after the fifth one. “I don’t have impressive stories. I keep thinking about the people I worked with - the ones who don’t have doctors, who don’t get listened to. And sometimes I just… listen. I forget to speak.” He wasn’t trying to sell a dream. He was trying to carry one.

Later, at his new medical school, he asked one of his interviewers why he was selected. The professor said: “We knew your academic record. What we needed to know was who you were beyond the résumé. We saw someone who listens. Who remembers. Someone who already puts people first -not just as a value, but as a habit. That’s what medicine needs.”

What I’ve Learned as a Parent and would like to share with other parents of students applying to graduate school, especially professional schools like medicine, law, or public health:

- Prestige is not the goal. Alignment is.
If your child applies for the sake of status, they may go far but lose

- Something essential along the way.
If they apply because their values, skills, and calling align, they may end up in the
right place, even if it takes longer to get there.

- There is no weakness in waiting.
One or two years after college is not a delay.
It can be a time of deepening, humbling, and discovery if it’s used well.

- Grad school admissions want more than perfection.
They already see the GPAs, scores, and internships.
They’re looking for clarity, resilience, and maturity.
They want people who’ve lived something but not just trained for
something.

- You don’t need to push. But you do need to stay close.
Support doesn’t mean control. It means presence.
Give them space and a window.
Let them wander.
Let them wonder.
Then help them come back to themselves with purpose, not panic.